Catching Up

Well, Lo's "Baby Daddy" has decided he doesn't want to stick around while Laura carries his child. He is going to drive back from East TX to pick-up his dog this week and then go back. I'm disgusted. Part of me wants to tell her that "when you lie down with dogs you get fleas." But the mother in me is heartbroken to see her heart broken like this. Her father just wrote to tell me that I need to convince her to go to WA to live with him because somehow this is my fault that she got pregnant. As if he was such a paragon of honor to his three kids and wife. Oyi. Life. It just keeps on happenin' doesn't it?

I have a stinkin' chest, nasal, head crud thing going on. I'm just glad I'm off work. Good timing. I'm hoping to sleep in and really rest in the morning...maybe it will clear up. I was supposed to go for my annual physical in the morning, but nobody will be going anywhere in the morning...in Austin, due to the Ice Storm. I paid the electric company, but as Staci said...there's a chance for irony if the ice knocks out our electricity when it's all said and done. They're dealing with that in South Austin right now. About 200 homes are without heat right now.

I just feel such an overall sense of inner peace and security (for the moment) with having my jobs. I'm so happy about them. So very grateful.

I plan to gym shop when I start getting paychecks again and this time I also plan to make sure to pad my savings account really well in case I ever get into this mess again. I just need to downsize my home and living and I should be good.

I found out today that the little ole church ladies call themselves "The Matrons" and that works. They weren't at church today!! They all use walkers or cains due to unsteady gait. Austin is under a severe weather watch/warning with a major ice storm predicted for ... now. It's sloppy and wet. They wisely decided to stay home and protect their fragile bones. Anyway, I met with the session (which isn't much younger). It went well. We settled on the amount to pay me and the hours I'll work and then I immediately got pulled into food bank duty this Friday which is not one of the days we negotiated. Ah well...momma told me there'd be days like this. No problem. I feel confident it will all work out. We all laid our cards on the table and I assured them that I will offend "The Matrons" again and again and they seemed o.k. with it...so forward we go...into the wild blue (or purple-haired) yonder.

Just finished my day of hospice. Three patients that are non-verbal and then one who lives in an assisted living facility and is a delight! We agreed that I'd come to see her once a week. She is only 11 years older than me. Lung cancer and COPD. Smoker. This one is gonna hurt cuz I already adore her. However, it will also be a meaningful journey.

Daughter not doing too well emotionally. Doesn't want to be pregnant...with Joey's child. She refuses the idea of giving the baby up for adoption. Joey doesn't want to be a partner or dad anymore. He's decided to stay in East TX with his family. She was hysterical in the middle of the night. I slept poorly as it was to mommy that she came. Had to talk about "her" being mommy now. She's not ready. She's still a baby herself. If only I'd locked her up in an ivory tower somewhere until she was 25.

and now for today's entry:

ZING! I'm wide awake at 4:30 a.m. and that just isn't like me. I'm sure it's the shot of cortisone the doc gave me yesterday. Plus, I slept a good part of the afternoon away yesterday too. I guess I was sicker than I realized given how crazy busy I've been with the new phjobs. I've been known to do that...be sick and not stop long enough to realize it until I'm down. I think I'm gonna feel a whole lot better by tomorrow.

I'm going to join the 24 hour fitness gym. I simply have to get moving and I'm not doing it. Although, I also like CURVES, but I get bored after a while there. I dunno what to do. I just have to do something. The new doc said that it was probably the estrogen I've been taking what has kept me alive these past 5-10 years given my family history of heart disease and my own high blood pressure. That's a comforting thought given the fact that I quit taking the estrogen three months ago due to the current guidelines for using HRT. .sigh. I "know" it's coming and I simply "have" to take off 30-40 pounds if I'm going to have a chance at delaying it a little bit. I'm just not ready yet...to die or be incapacitated. So. CK is not an option for me anymore if I want to live. ok? Lord, help me. My song for the day: "Give me just a little more time..."

Happy New Year! 2007

The ladies showed me my new office at the church yesterday. I nearly fell over. It's HUGE! I will rattle around in that room. Huge desk...love seat, end tables, big stuffed chair, several side chairs, bookcases all across the back wall; another desk behind the giant desk. The giant desk could even look small in this big room if it wasn't so prominently placed. I've never had anything to compare. I was amazed. Wow. I'm pretty sure there is room to square dance between the desk and the sitting area.

Attendance was a bit lower yesterday and that disappointed me. However, coming in during the Christmas holidays gave me the chance to see who calls it their church and that will help in building it back up...I pray. There is so much room in this church. It is old and beautiful with tons of great history. It simply needs an infusion of people. The area is about to become a bedroom community to the Austin/Round Rock area so...hopefully we will see some growth this year! That would be so cool.

I'm getting excited about the possibilities for so much in the coming year! It is grand to be alive.

Oh...did I mention that I'll have a secretary?! I've never had a secretary. Oh, great...now I'm teary-eyed. I think I'm a bit overwhelmed with joy. I'm wondering what my dear mum would have said about all this. I think it's probably a bit beyond her experience. She was so cute when I finally told her I was in seminary and going into ministry. She said: "Honey, you know we don't believe that women should be doing that, but I guess I must have done something right if you're willing to devote your life to serving God like that." Oh, yeah. My mom did a whole lotta right.

I have a list of chores to accomplish today and what am I doing? Sitting at the computer with this 4 lb. dog on my lap. This is my *last* day of "unemployment vacation" and I really need to get my wardrobe (such as it is) in order and clean this house. Reading some of the other blogs reminds me that I also need to take down Christmas decorations. Luckily we didn't put up too many this year.

Not sure when the presbyteries will get things settled for me to start getting paid. I sure hope it's soon. I went to lunch with the ladies yesterday after church. They're starting to let down their guard big time now. I'm starting to get a real sense of who and what I'll be working with. Looks to be some cat-fight power struggles between some of these grand dames. I saw some of their meanness toward one another in their eyes yesterday. Of course the one that first "courted" me gave me a ride back to my car and sweetly said: "I don't want to offend you by telling you what to do or anything, but you're going to need to...." (speak louder so that Miz C. can hear me better). The way she said it gave me the insight that I will be hearing those very words on a fairly regular basis. She nearly snapped off the head of the young waitress we had for a number of perceived failings. I had a glimpse of my own head being served up on a platter later on. Ah, the grind work begins...the part I do not like. Personal growth time for me again. I may need to get back into my family systems class - I've been out this past year thinking I'd not ever be back in a church again.