Wednesday, March 09, 2016

"On Death and Dying"

So. I am a hospice chaplain for over sixteen years now. That's what I know about. So I'm going to focus there, methinks. I offer healing to those who begin their journey toward death. I am a death-doula. What is a Doula?  The word 'doula' comes from the ancient Greek meaning "a woman who serves" and is used here to refer to a trained and experienced professional who provides continuous physical, emotional and informational support to dying persons and their loved ones before, during and just after death; or who provides spiritual, emotional, and practical support during the death and dying process. It is what I do well and I love my work immensely.

I am often asked how it is that I came to work in hospice. It all started a very long time ago. Probably when I was four or five, but I'll get there another time. Professionally, it started at the Medical School Graduation ceremony of my first cousin, Dr. John D. Hall. I recently ran across the invitation to that event in all my "stuff" and wanted to put it aside to keep. Alas, the Memorial Day Floods in San Marcos, Texas took care of that idea. Most everything I once owned is now a memory.

It was in the early 70's or maybe 1969 as best I recall. We went to honor my cousin's hard work and there I heard a women tell me what my life's work would be. Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D. was the keynote speaker that day; at the Wayne State School of Medicine in Detroit, Michigan. She had just finished writing her ground-breaking book "On Death and Dying" and gave charge to those new doctors by reminding them that although they had just spent years studying the human body and how to make it well, there would come a time when there would be nothing left to do which would contribute to a continued life of quality. At that time, she imperatively stated, (and I para-phrase) I want you to be brave and bold in having a conversation with your patients to inform them that end-of-life was approaching.

"Dr. Kubler-Ross was born July 8, 1926 and died August 24, 2004. She authored the groundbreaking book On Death and Dying and 23 other books, published in 34 languages. She is widely recognized for her compassionate care of the dying and advocacy to improve care for the dying and the grieving.

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, M.D. was a Swiss-born psychiatrist, a pioneer in Near-death studies and the author of the groundbreaking book On Death and Dying(1969), where she first discussed what is now known as the Kübler-Ross model. In this work she proposed the now famous Five Stages of Grief as a pattern of adjustment. These five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. In general, individuals experience most of these stages, though in no defined sequence, after being faced with the reality of their impending death. The five stages have since been adopted by many as applying to the survivors of a loved one’s death, as well.She is a 2007 inductee into the National Women’s Hall of Fame. She was the recipient of twenty honorary degrees and by July 1982 had taught, in her estimation, 125,000 students in death and dying courses in colleges, seminaries, medical schools, hospitals, and social-work institutions. In 1970, she delivered the The Ingersoll Lectures on Human Immortality at the University of Harvard, on the theme, On Death and Dying."

The last two paragraphs were taken from her website which you can google using her name. I have all but forgotten my writing skills in terms of giving references. I will brush-up on that and do better.

Listening to her speak was enthralling to me. I was spell-bound. My heart was saying: "Yes, that is what I want to do. I want to work with death and dying." I had no idea how one went about such a thing. I was taking a few classes at Henry Ford Community College, but had no direction in mind. It would be many years before it all came full-circle and I would step into the field as someone who was meant to be there.